They say hard work pays off
And that if you put in the time
You will win
But what happens when you train and train and center your whole life around something you love more than anything in the world. You do everything you can but that still isn’t good enough because your body gets ill and you get injured and become anemic and you can’t do anything else and you’re always tired… never have energy.
I just wish things were as simple as those who work the hardest get the rewards because I know I have worked much harder than a majority of those around me yet I am still crossing the finish line minutes behind them.
It may seem silly, it’s only a race.
Only a high school sport.
But when you make this your entire life, the success is that much better.
But when success never comes and all you get in return is failure, the failure is that much worse. It doesn’t just feel like a lost race.
It doesn’t get feel like a 6 minute mile.
It feels like the entire world is coming down around me, that I’m no good and my life is worthless because I cannot do what I have set out to do. I cannot do the one thing my entire life revolves around.
It’s actually heartbreaking and I wish I could shake this feeling.
Anonymous asked: I wish you didn't hate yourself so much. It kills me because you're just so great, even when you mess up
Thank you so much you are sososo sweet